Well...I honestly am at a slight loss of words now. Well not tt it has struck me so hard but I guess I just can't describe how things are even for myself right now. I can feel the self-anesthesia creeping into my body alr but I'm trying hard to fight it cos it's no longer the way I wanna handle things. I'm not going to be an escapist. I'll just take things as they come and face up to my own emotions. No matter how long it takes, no matter what it takes and no matter where it would bring me to at the end of the road.
With that I've come out with 3 final resolutions for myself to improve myself. First would be to change my character somewhat. To become less cynical of others and more trusting of others. Not doubting what people mean behind their words and believing in others more. Giving myself and others a little more faith.
Next would be to be more decisive in basically everything. It isn't actually a case of myself not being decisive but rather that I'm really fine with anything most of the time, so I'd prefer to let others state their preference and go along with it somehow.
Lastly would be always to seek to improve myself. Mostly as a person, maybe being less self critical which I always like to do so. I should give myself constructive criticism instead of just being erm...self critical haha. Can't find a better phrase at the spur of the moment man.
Football was as usual, but we were late, I forgot my socks and I had a terrible diarrhoea. Managed to get about a half in though, lost but kept a respectable scoreline. Was the first game in 3 weeks though.
Watched a movie today. After a really long time. Not under the circumstances tt I wld wanna watch it for sure. But I guess it's alright really. Anyway Li Wei asked if I wanted to watch sex and the city 2. And I was like whoa...it was really something I wanted to catch but...I know it had alr became something that I didn't really wanted to watch anymore. In the end I went ahead with it cos, I wanted to see how it was. I wanted to know how it felt watching it. It was great really, can't really catch some of the more erm bitchy stuff I guess haha but the show was certainly heartwarming and well it was a little heart wrenching to me though. Just a little cos some things they did kind of reminded me of things. Yeah things.
Well the previous movie I watched was really great. Yep haha. It was something heart wrenching yes, a little difficult to take in at the end. But the process of watching was most definitely heart warming. It was Remember Me. Remember me. That's something I could never forget. Not in a lifetime. It has never been made clearer to myself by myself. And wait I shall.
天空不断下着无声的雪
而我只有思念
勉强能温暖黑夜
拥抱离我已经千山万水
每个男人都有
说不出的心碎 oh yeah
我还爱着一个人但愿
回到美好的从前
也许痛的感觉
证明了爱的深浅
不然为什么我还不撤退 oh～
记得爱所有幸福的片段
所以才一直忘记要离开
伸出手继续勇敢付出我的爱
原地不动的等待
就算风把我的头发吹乱
记得爱是我给过的答案
就不再考虑应该不应该
一滴泪落进无边无际的大海
至少我们都活得没有遗憾
只要记得爱就无所谓孤单
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