Victoria School 128th Speech Day. Such a wonderful event. It's great to see seniors coming back down from the various JCs. Santosh, Desmond, Tuan Chun and Man Yiu all won prizes. Santosh won four, Desmond won one. No prizes for guessing who's the valedictorian this year. The senior whom I respect the most. Really an exceptional student leader.
His speech was really great. Not that long but full of content. So much packed in there. A true blue Victorian I'd say. An awe-inspiring speech made. I stayed back to congratulate them. Then Santosh told me not to think of anything else but studying, which is really true. As to whether I can make it, it's a different thing. Of course there's the principal's report. As usual the excellence in CCA but I think academically wasn't very well done. A sad thing to say. So much packed in these few hours, just so much. The parade was like a stab in the heart. We weren't in it and I don't know what Mrs Raj thinking lor. Sick man. I seriously think it's more important than even Fd Comp. Hopefully next year can lah.
Yesterday never blog cos cannot use lor...took 5 stations yesterday...full marks, hahz. Ok lah, I think got people 30 pt though, I 28 only. My class think only got 2 gold. Kennick and me lo. Still my 2.4 sucks...
Feeling tired. Next week Bio mock liao...mug!! Got homework also but must make sure my mock do damn well, cos I screwed up my damned HCL liao, sure die one.
江南
风到这里就是黏 黏住过客的思念
雨到了这里缠成线 缠着我们流连人世间
妳在身边就是缘 缘份写在三生石上面
爱有万分之一甜 宁愿我就葬在这一点
圈圈圆圆圈圈 天天年年天天 的我
深深看妳的脸 生气的温柔 埋怨的温柔 的脸
不懂爱恨情愁煎熬的我们 都以为相爱就像风云的善变
相信爱一天 抵过永远 在这一剎那冻结了时间
不懂怎么表现温柔的我们 还以为殉情只是古老的传言
离愁能有多痛 痛有多浓 当梦被埋在江南烟雨中
心碎了才懂
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Thursday, July 29, 2004
Today go school is like dying like that, first thing is woke up late liao. So tired...Come to think of it...yesterday got some stuff never say lah, so much happened. I was holding the Whampoa house flag mah, then run "round" the stadium. Went past the SJI people they a bit the suan us. But we held our heads high and went past them mwaha, anyway we sorta beat them. Now that the flag was mentioned, that time the Cedar people run past us with their flags, Edmund a bit paiseh ah. They said Shu Xian was there, didn't see though, was looking at the race. Haha.
Saturday HCL mock liao, I'm a confirmed goner. Hardly revised lor. Oh man, dead meat. Sure die lor...argh. Skipped tuition today, skipping tomorrow also. I don't want to but no choice lahzz...sick.
My class like very little people donate blood, surely less than 10. Anyway I donating lah...Next week is full bio mock. Die die die. So much to study. HCL already die liao.
Going for Speech Day on Saturday. Last Speech Day before leaving VS, so must go. Santosh won what student leader of the year award. First time I see such thing leh, previous years I was pretty sure don't have. Desmond also got subject prize for geog. Then for those who did well academically I forgot got who liao, think both of them also have. Then the others I not too sure.
Tired sia...mugging then cannot sleep also...tomorrow maybe 5 stations, a bit die ah. Muscles aching. Zzz...
孤单北半球
用我的晚安陪妳 吃早餐 记得把想念
存进扑满 我 望着满天星在闪
听牛郎对织女说要勇敢
别怕我们在地球的两端 看我的问候
骑着魔毯 飞 用光速飞到 妳面前
要妳能看到十字星有北极星作伴
少了我的手臂当枕头 妳习不习惯
妳的望远镜望不到我北半球的孤单
太平洋的潮水跟着地球来回旋转
我会耐心地等 随时欢迎妳靠岸
少了我的怀抱当暖炉 妳习不习惯
E给妳照片看不到我北半球的孤单
世界再大两颗真心就能 互相取暖
想念不会偷懒 我的梦通通给妳保管
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Wednesday, July 28, 2004
The Victorian Spirit, something which can be felt but something which cannot be touched. It was totally shown during the National Track & Field Meet. It rained. Twice. We were the one of the only school in the rain without umbrellas. But we cheered like mad. Like mad. The only school cheering in the rain, other schools about half all hide into the shelter. Especially SJI. They quite sucky ah. Cheered our hearts out. The rain really perked us up. The headbands on our heads. VS. Really, really thankful for being in VS. Learnt so much from this fine institution. The Victorian Spirit could well be seen through the rain, old Victorians, seniors from so many different JCs, came to root for us, instead of cheering on their own schools. We had teachers streaming in to support us also. We stood throughout the whole event, partially because of the rain. But we came close together as a whole school, to bring the spirit to our atheletes and spur them on. And sure enough, we did rather well. True Victorian Passion, on our Red Cross shirt. A short phrase, but so meaningful to each and every Victorian. Our Red Cross cadets were doing first aid duty but unable to cheer for the school, yeah, so quite a pity.
Ahmad Nabil was our miracle runner. He was absolutely fantastic. The B div 1500m he practically sprinted for the whole of the last round, winning the 2nd guy like mad. And for the 4x400m if without him, we couldn't have gotten 3rd. Our C div 1500m got 1st and 3rd...don't know the lower sec runners...C div 4x400m also got 3rd.
C div got 2nd. B div got 3rd. Second best boys school. Same as last year. Quite a pity but CHS totally won lor, sucks. I think because our field events like never win anything. But our track is pretty good, especially long distance. We totally owned the other schools. Especially considering the fact that we're not independent. All other boys school takig part are independent lor, we made it so far despite a lack of resources and I think the track people and teachers should well be commended and recognised for their hard work put in. It is prominent that CCAs are doing rather well in Victoria School. Our niche areas like Track & Field one of the best, cross country top in Singapore. For other CCAs like sailing...2 boats in our school, compared to 20 plus in the top independent schools, a bit big diff ah, still got 3rd and 4th. I mean it's quite good liao. Says a lot about the students here. CCA excellence is quite common around here. Now gotta buck and and push ourselves back up to the top 10 academically where we should belong.
That's when I'll stop loving you
When winter comes in summer
When there's no more forever
Yeah, that's when I'll stop loving you
That's when I'll stop loving you
I'm sure you've heard these words before
And I know it's hard for you to trust them once more
You're afraid it all might end
And a broken heart is scared of breaking again
But you've gotta believe me
I'll never leave you
You'll never cry long as I am there
And I will always be there
You will never be without love
When winter comes in summer
When there's no more forever
When lies become the truth
Oh you know then baby, That's when I'll stop lovin'
That's when I'll stop loving you
That's when I'll stop loving you yeah
As long as sunlight lights the sky
Light of love will be found in these eyes of mine (these eyes of mine)
And I will shine that light for you
You're the only one, I'll ever give this heart to
What I'm trying to say is, nothing will change this (ahh..)
There'll be no time you won't find me there (find me there)
Cos I will always be there
You will always have all my love
And when this world doesn't turn anymore
When the stars all decide to stop shining
Till then I'm gonna be by your side
Gonna be loving you forever
Every day of my life
Ohh..baby..
Well you know then baby
That's when I'll stop lovin'
That's when I'll stop lovin'
That's when I'll stop loving you
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Tuesday, July 27, 2004
Hm...got more than 1000 hits to this webby liao...not bad. Tomorrow when reach school will see a "sea of yellow" excited about the National Track & Field meet tomorrow. This last time I'm participating as a Victorian in VS. Sad. Damn sad. But really looking forward to seeing the Victorian Spirit amongst each and every student again. Mr Oh said that both B div and C div also third. I have a feeling like year year same thing, before going for finals CHS win liao. Let's hope not. Gonna use the VS headband I bought last week, haha. Red and yellow...only flaw is the words write until quite ugly. Today went to find black one but no more liao...so fast.
SS finished the good governance, then got SEQ again. Saturday got HCL mock leh...so much work. HCL got back the sui bi handed in yesterday...that was fast, ok lah I was the only one who handed in one. He put some comment saying that don't keep writing sad compos...
Physics mock practical I thought it was quite easy lah. Came out then discussed answers and realised that I was wrong. I think got some questions did wrongly liao. Sure die lah...Now got Bio pract to worry about, my worst one. Crazy leh, Bio suddenly just give us do revision test 1 to 3, a bit a lot ah...siao liao lah, goner.
Tired as usual...routine to feel like that...feeling normal...not high not low, but excited about tomorrow's track and maybe about some other stuff...
Stay The Same
Don't you ever wish you were someone else,
You were meant to be the way you are exactly.
Don't you ever say you don't like the way you are.
When you learn to love yourself, you're better off by far.
And I hope you always stay the same,
Cos there's nothin' 'bout you I would change.
I think that you could be whatever you wanted to be
If you could realise, all the dreams you have inside.
Don't be afraid if you've got something to say,
Just open up your heart and let it show you the way.
Believe in yourself.
Reach down inside.
The love you find will set you free.
Believe in yourself, you will come alive.
Have faith in what you do.
You'll make it through.
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Monday, July 26, 2004
Today woke up that time still see my bro watching copa america. Brazil won on penalties...but then Argentina did play well too. Didn't really follow much lah.
The career talk was quite what leh...the old Victorian talked A LOT about law. Blur sia. Talked so long somemore. Two periods of Physics also gone...nothing to say lah. He quite amusing though, understands the way we think, haha. Tomorrow Physics practical mock. Oh man, sure owned one. Previous practices mostly damn lousy...sure die lahz...SS skimmed through a SEQ and good governance, I think can wrap up by tomorrow. Syllabus wise we're super slow!!
E Maths do ACSI paper, haa, the CHS paper also haven't finish...Higher Chinese went through the newspaper report thingy we did last time. Ok lah, did badly though. But the teacher praised my other compo, heh. Not bad...
Pull up still stale...cannot improve, need one more to reach 5 pt...Friday napfa liao, oh man...ah I guess if cannot reach also nvm ba, got more important stuff.
My bro quite ke lian...poor thing. Compared to him I guess I'm sorta better off...!? Don't know how to gauge this kindda stuff also lah. Anyway, wish him luck. Hope he won't get something bad out of something he put so much into.
唯一
我的天空多么的清新
透明的承诺是过去的空气
牵著我的手是妳
但妳的笑容 却看不清
是否一颗星星变了心
从前的愿望 也全都被抛弃
最近我无法呼吸
连自己的影子 都想逃避(逃避)
BABY 妳就是我的唯一
两个世界都变心 回去谈何容易
确定 妳就是我的唯一
独自对著电话说我爱妳 我真的爱妳
BABY 我已不能多爱妳一些
其实早已超过爱的极限
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Sunday, July 25, 2004
Oh...official wake up time was at about 10-11 I guess...not sure. Somehow my bro's phone rang at 6am...that's cool. Of course woke up lah...then I think about 9 or 10 got sms...naturally woke up again...but actually it was alright with me lah.
Totally exhausted...never had much sleep for the past week...can die...didn't feel like doing anything lor...did only a bit of work here and there. My homework hardly finished. Wah...die liao lor.
Had fun with my bro's phone hahz. Only started using yesterday lah but still nice lah. Anyway he just came back from Thailand. So nice lor...if next time I can I also wanna do the same thing. He bought so much stuff...so much...boxing gloves, clothes souvenirs etc etc. I think he was there for like 12 days. Must've been fun, especially...haha.
Don't know leh...like nothing much to say...so short...long time never write so short liao. Feeling alright...but tired...now gotta type out compo...
我比誰都清楚
拼拼湊湊 愛的故事
簡簡短短 妳的心事
我不在妳身邊的日子
是什麼讓妳改變堅持
讓人心疼 妳的樣子
吞吞吐吐 欲言又止
如果有那麼難以啟齒
我不問 妳又何必掩飾
妳過的好辛苦
我比誰都清楚
感情路沒有勉強的幸福
一開始就給的糊裡糊塗
想回頭郤又不知如何結束
妳裝作很滿足
我比誰都清楚
妳的笑 隱約透露著孤獨
快樂背後 深深藏著痛楚
堅強的面對然後偷偷的哭
偷偷的哭
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Oh...morning mock...raining, so cold. Mind total blank, wrote crap for my compo. Compre also diffcult, sure die lor.
Went to CRD. Quite late ah...by half an hour at least. Tired leh, whole week slept so late...went there a bit not enthu...Starting sat with the other DA winners, so sian. Nothing to say sia...Then went to collect, think I cocked up a bit...while collecting. zc and Elias went off in the middle to eat...kao...nothing to say. Then after that went to change and stuff, took photo with siglap people, don't know why they wanna take lor...take twice somemore. Anyway went to eat lah, didn't eat much, food was alright though. Then walked around like free talk so much crap...then we actually wanted to help the evergreen people move the chairs lah but one of the stupid cadets think free leh, say what stairs there got somemore go help...damn attitude, then we heck care liao. Felt like slapping her face lor, damn what leh.
Informal segment was alright lah...better than I expected though. The balloon thingy not bad. I kept blowing and bursting the balloons haha. Also no rules one mah...then got some people never play at all stand at one side, hahz. Got what mass dance, was ok lah, but couldn't catch some parts but heck.
Got the fake campfire. It was really lousy. Damn ugly, might as well have real one. The songs also not very enthu like that. I hated one of the mcs, really irritating leh. Make so much noise when I was trying to tie the balloons. Felt like punching her. Then got don't know what so much stuff some were alright but some really terrible. Overall was pretty good tough. They tried to psycho us join vi. I should be joining ba. Also don't know...Jian Fu sir said got a lot of ULC people joining.
At the end sang the Victorian Anthem and spelling cheer. Probably the last time doing it in HQ activity.
Was I being fierce...I also don't know. Sorry about that, really sorry. Probably last time meeting liao, for quite some time, quite sad. Anyway...also don't know...hope things will go well.
离别可是件非常痛苦的事。它让我内心绞碎，让我的心真的好痛，好痛。用绞碎这两个字眼也无法形容自己内心的伤痛。这种结局对于失魂落魄的我倒是再贴切不过了。可是我还是不得不埋怨自己的不幸，埋怨自己的命运。我想要得有这么多，可是最终得到的只不过是虚幻的憧憬。失去是个恐怖的经验，失去最自己最重要的十五可真会让人心碎呀。我讨厌自己的愚昧，自己天真的想法。我真的真的感到很失落。我感受到自己的无能与无助。我想哭，泪却流不出。我想开心，心里的伤痛却不容许我。我想为她做些事，自己却完完全全的做不出来。我真的好失败，好失败。
纯真
长长的路上 我想我们是朋友 如果有期待 我想最好是不说
妳总是微笑的妳 总是不开口 世界被妳 掌握
月亮绕地球 地球绕着太阳走 我以为世界是座 宁静的宇宙
今晚的天空有一颗流星划过 在预言着什么
在无声之中你拉起了我的手 我怎么感觉整个黑夜 在震动
耳朵里我听到了 心跳的节奏 星星在闪烁 妳怎么说
妳心中一定有座 浓雾的湖泊 任凭月光再皎洁 照也照不透
妳眼中闪烁湖面 无边的温柔 那波光在 诱惑
妳已经有他就不应该 再有我 世界的纯真此刻为妳 有迷惑
我想我应该轻轻 放开妳的手 我却没有力气 这么做
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Friday, July 23, 2004
Actually didn't wanna blog but I'll just make it quick lah...
Got PE on a dry soccer field...can call it a desert though. Now only got sand, "new" field somemore. Anyway, had a nice time playing soccer. Total thrashing mwahaha. Although only about 10 plus people played, quite good lah. Did a nice deft flick but saved...too bad. Okay lah, thrashed them like mad.
A Maths did the June 2003 paper in class and went through on the spot. I felt that it was do-able. Can do leh, not like the stupid mid year paper, don't know what is the question asking lor. If like that my A Maths got hope liao, hahz.
Then was like went parkway very early to go popular. Kennick actually wanted to meet up with primary school friends there, but late by 20 minutes so never get to see them. Quite sad lor. A pity for him to miss something like that. Tuition also nothing much happen, go on to revision lah, generally still alright, not that bad.
Also don't know what to say liao. Tomorrow got English mock then must rush to evergreen by 1.30pm. Quite rush. Maybe can make it in time lor...not looking forward much to tomorrow's CRD. Like ok ok only. But of course...sigh...not feeling so good. Can tell my mock tomorrow sure flop one...
温柔
走在风中 今天阳光 突然好温柔 天的温柔
地的温柔 像妳抱着我 然后发现 妳的改变
孤单的今后 如果冷 该怎么渡过 天边风光
身边的我 都不在妳眼中 妳的眼中 藏着什么
我从来都不懂 没有关系 妳的世界 就让妳拥有 不打扰
是我的温柔 不知道 不明了 不想要 为什么
我的心明明是想靠近 却孤单的黎明 不知道 不明了
不想要 为什么 我的心那爱情的绮丽
总是在孤单里 再把我的最好的爱给妳 不知不觉
不情不愿 又到巷子口 我没有哭 也没有笑 因为这是梦 没有预兆
没有理由 妳真的有说过如果有 就让妳自由 这是我的温柔
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Thursday, July 22, 2004
Feeling abnormally tired today...maybe fatigue accumulated throughout the days...
Boring day. A Maths got so much work, expect us to finish the November 2003 paper by tomorrow, still got relative velocity questions. Crazy...got tuition somemore. Of course I didn't touch the work that cannot be finished. Did my Physics tuition work, but do a while cannot take it liao...tired...English discussed the argumentative essay, I did like shit. I read liao also shake my own head, don't know what I was doing. Read the winning entry of the commonwealth essay by some RGS student. That was really pro lor. The vocab is good but not that fantastic. The way the things were expressed were really really good though. It was really superb. Worthy of the winning entry.
Chem practical mock...oh man, sorta flopped it. Got so many accidents, for me that is. The things went alright I hope...but the titration 4 mark question I anyhow do, think I was wrong...QA also a bit blur but I think can lah...I knocked over the bottle of dilute nitric acid...lucky only spill, never hit the ground or else become hero of the day liao. Broke a test tube. Fierce leh, first time I broke anything in the lab. Don't know why today so unlucky lor, everything happened. Hopefully can do well for this time...
Saturday English mock, also don't know lah, think this time sorta real one, no time to really prepare. Tomorrow got PE!! Play soccer, haha. Fun. Better not rain until tomorrow after PE...wanna play on a dry pitch, or else not that nice.
感觉上全身的骨头似乎随时都会散掉。我真的感到很疲惫，很疲惫。我已快崩溃了。课业的压力，父母对我施压，让我感到上气不接下气。最近又经常与朋友起纠纷，疲倦的身心也同时带着暴躁的情感。我真的好累好累。累的并不只是身体上的疲劳，而内心更是疲惫万分。我觉得自己已经等够了，可是却又放不下心中的感情，让我有些困扰。对于这件事，我到不真的讨厌，只是若放不下的话，我做什么似乎都力不从心，一点劲都没。累是累了，心中倒是渴望感觉到甜蜜的果实，让自己在读得开心，解除身心上的疲劳。
猜猜猜
好想看看妳 所以捨不得離去 等一個世紀 都願意
妳是否相信 只要給我一點點好運 真愛就會降臨
讓我猜猜猜 妳會來來來 我的愛愛愛 不分是非黑白
我盼盼盼 我在想想想 心好痛好亂
OH 真的好愛妳 怎麼才能夠 說服妳 不能想妳就像不能呼吸
OH 真的好愛妳 至少上天明白我的苦心
知道我付出一切 深愛妳 深愛著妳
好想陪著妳 就算不多說一句 也能夠感應 妳的心
妳是否願意 只要輕輕靠在我懷裡 聆聽我的叮嚀
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Wednesday, July 21, 2004
Raining in the morning...sickening feeling...cooling though. Double edge feeling...not a correct expression but heck. Last week's chem pract results not good leh...alright, but not good enough...tomorrow mock liao lor, quite nervous.
Racial Harmony day celebrations, not so harmonious I guess. It's really different from previous years. Upper sec play those kindda kampong games and stuff, ya, quite fun lah some of them. Played chaptek, izzat how you spell it? Heck. Did damn badly sia. All four of us. Damn lousy, if could do what we did during practice in recess sure thrash 4I one lah...don't know what happened totally off. Anyway, did alright for telematch, sadu gudu kena disquaified, dowan to think of it liao lah...winning 4I lor, then in the end 4I won the sadu gudu...
Nothing much today lor...stayed back for Bio prac make up cos of the celebrations, missed bio prac. I realised it's like the observations totally different from the correct answers...oh man. Can die.
Tired lah, don't know why, still training pull up, close to 5 pt liao, very. But still gotta work on it, anyway also not spending much time on it...tiredzzz...don't know why also...just feel like that.
最近并没什么好题材可写，因此写的东西都让人感到枯燥乏味。我自己也看不下去了。没办法，绞尽脑汁也没什么好写的。我本身倒是觉得流露感情的那种标题或中心是比较好些的，也比较顺手。我想下几回就多流露出不一样的感情，也顺便加强以后文章的故事性。所以请多多包含。
心有独钟
这种感觉从来不曾有 左右每天思绪 每一次呼吸
心被占据 却苦无医 是妳让我着了迷
给了甜蜜又保持距离 而妳潇洒来去 玩爱情游戏
我一天天失去勇气 偏偏难了难忘记
单单为妳心有独钟 因为爱过才知情多浓
浓得发痛在心中 痛全是感动
我是真的真的与众不同
真正为妳心有独钟 因为有妳世界变不同
笑我太傻太懵懂 或爱得太重
只为相信我自己 能永远对妳心独钟
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Tuesday, July 20, 2004
Tired...don't know why also, supposedly slept an hour earlier than usual at 12 plus...tired...yesterday got some stuff never say leh...saw Mr Tik at the bus stop, I think he is going home. Heard of his private tuition, a pity cos I got my tuition liao. He remembers me...but he's a really nice and great teacher. Checked my 2.4 timing, sucks big time, made it for a 3 points only, damn lousy, but no time to train now...so no point retaking, argh. But confident of getting gold, cos I'm better at the 5 stations, haha.
A rather monotonous day I'd say. SS went through the SBQs and started on good govenance and that's damn slow. 4H finished it liao. Other classes probably also. Higher Chinese went into class immediately see Lim Yun kena scolded like mad. I think he played truant for chinese classes, not too sure about it though, it was rare to see the teacher so angry.
I have a damn bad feeling about my Physics practical. It was ok except for part 2 of question one. The what set up experiment to test Fs constant. Omg, that's a total killer, if prelims and o's got this kindda stuff I'm a total goner. So difficult leh. How I know do what sia. But I'm pretty sure I did better than the last time. Now to worry about Chem practical mock liao on Thursday, scared...not enough practice. Especially my QA, sometimes come some funny stuff never see before. Today spent more time on studying for my higher chinese mock lah...not really prepared...but I better do well anyways.
After school see Mrs Chin regarding EL file and stuff lah. She said I do narratives better, yeah statistics show that my narratives are better than others. Always got for the twist, and sometimes get pretty high marks. Gotta have fresher ideas though, that I totally agree, my scope a little narrow. Needa source for more feelings yep.
Saturday got mock in the morning. Then at 1 must reach Evergreen leh, that place sucks big time lor, hate it to the core. This kindda event hold in secondary school damn the not nice. Anyway, sure late one. Mock normally drag until 12.30 like that. School to Woodlands not that close k? How? Not even sure how to go leh, must ask Sanjay, hahz.
If
幸福 不是每一天都有
错过以后要等很久很久
别让妳的快乐在我怀中变成泡沫
至少 我们依然是朋友
如果我不适合握妳的手
带着我的祝福好好的过
藏起心痛 我想我还能忍受
这点寂寞 用最沉默的温柔
微笑对你挥挥手
If you cry 我会明白
If you smile 我也会温暖 走累了
If you don't mind 我坐下来看看天的蓝
If you cry 还有我在
If you try 陪妳等待
妳永远不会孤单 有个人 只为了妳存在
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Monday, July 19, 2004
The Victorian Anthem on Monday mornings are always great. Sad to say that I'm left with not many times to sing it. At least in VS perhaps.
Last week's Physics practical was badly done by me. My worst in my one and a half years in upper sec. Was a bit rush lah but I was just so careless don't know what got into me. Graph got so low also, made so many dumb mistakes here and there...depressing sia. Especially when the practical mock are coming up soon. I gotta do well in the mock to gauge my standard for prelims, or else goner. Wah, pressure is on. Thursday Chem practical mock, can die, still not too sure of my QA stuff, gotta revise more thoroughly. Hopefully can get back the practical book on wednesday then can look through. SS spent two periods going through an inference question, quite standard but fulfiling.
E Maths did Chinese High paper, more work, can die liao. Higher Chinese he went through the bao zhang bao dao for two whole periods!! Got a better picture of it but I was never good at it. Next Saturday Higher Chinese mock liao, preparing for it, got some time to study today. Studied very little and bad news is next few days probably cannot study at all, cos must prepare for Chem practical and the A Maths test. Maybe can squeeze in a little time ba, I hope. Tired. I think I gonna cap my com usage for one hour, until 12 daily. Because tend to use to much and sleep later. Too tired, studying my chinese that time half dozing off, couldn't really study...
Wanna help out yeah, relieve of the pain, don't know what I can do about it...
心里还觉得蛮空虚的。喜欢这样的生活，却又不喜欢。心情就跟着句话一样矛盾。在我记忆里的她是无法泯灭的。她在我心中的地位也是永久不变的。虽然自己一个人有这种愚蠢的想法，但我还是喜欢这样的自己。表现出最真诚，最真实的自己可是件很好的事。虽然憋在心中的一些话语都无法出口，我相信在时间的鞭策之下，我一定会鼓起勇气把它说出口的。我想分担一些痛苦，一些悲伤，让她更好受。我想把肩膀借给她，以便让她在伤痛的时候依靠，让她变得比较开朗一些。
流星森林雨
不着痕迹的一阵雨 你说那是一群流星 因为是妳
我会相信 那不是捕风捉影 等不到一场流星雨
雨声一样如影随行 我却相信 一点一滴 是妳在呼唤我姓名
不需要张开眼睛 也看到妳和我的心情 感受呼吸一样的回音
让整个世界变得透明 不需要张开眼睛 也看到黑夜最明亮的流星
彷佛站在屋顶 在心底里感应 我们的约定 在妳梦中一座森林
忽然铺满了我的心 因为是妳 我会相信 那不是捕风捉影
整个城市化做森林 忽然之间摇动不停
我却相信 一动一静 是妳在呼唤我姓名
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Sunday, July 18, 2004
Tired...slept at 3.30, but woke up at 11 heh. Nothing much, today. Just did homework lor. Was like eat breakfast then go do E Maths...stuck at a few questions but managed to finish anyway. Then went to do Physics on the electrical components. Not too difficult, the explanation stuff all the same but the calculation got few questions a bit not sure. Do until I blur sia...but still alright ba. Eyes blur liao. Haha. Always like that one after staring at the paper for some time. Later did SS SBQs, got one or two not very sure but heck lah, so much homework, can't even finish, how to ensure got quality. Especially stupid E Maths, this time give some Dunman High paper, so time consuming. My sui bi also not done yet...last night write a few sentences, tired until cannot think.
Called Edwin at night to ask some stuff lah. He said Physics hand in on Tuesday...>_<. Spent my whole afternoon doing leh, could've done other work lor, argh. Anyway celebrated my father's birthday lah...no birthday feeling lor. Just one candle on the cake then like what sia. No photos...oh man, dreadful only got my present on the table...my brother in Thailand and that's quite cool. Wouldn't want something like that for a birthday...
Not feeling good as usual, used to it liao. Don't know what's gonna happen next Saturday quite blur...think my parents wanna go, urgh. Don't like the idea of it...nothing in Chinese today, cos gotta write my own chinese compo, hand in tomorrow...surely will take some time...uh-oh, think got headache...feeling a bit dizzy liao...
分享
時間已做了選擇 什麼人叫做朋友
偶而碰頭 心情卻能一點就通
因為我們曾有過 理想類似的生活
太多感受 絕非三言兩語能形容
可能有時我們顧慮太多
太多決定需要我們去選擇
擔心會犯錯 難免會受挫
幸好一路上有你陪我
與你分享的快樂 勝過獨自擁有
至今我仍深深感動
好友如同一扇窗 能讓視野不同
與你分享的快樂 勝過獨自擁有
至今我仍深深感動
好友如同一扇門 讓世界(變)開闊
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Saturday, July 17, 2004
100th post at last...nice blog, threw my frustrations, my pain, my happiness, my joy all in here. But guess won't have much of a chance to use it anymore. Yeah. Past two days I wasn't really able to use my com even. Just so much to say, for the past two days, many things happened but I'm not gonna relate those terrible things.
Yesterday, which is Friday was My Jackson Tik's last day in VS. Feeling so sad. He's the best Chem teacher around, at least to me. His notes and stuff really useful and the way he teaches is impressive. A pity he wasn't trained at NIE. How I hoped he could at least see us through our o's, that's just so saddening. Ok lah, not trying to put Ms Yeo down but she just isn't as good as Mr Tik IMOH, and to many others. We bought those kindda ship in the bottle for him and on it was a 'Thank You". Not the most impressive of all gifts but it wasn't bad. The card was pretty nice with our extra message haha, I think Jeffrey and gang came up with some Chinese poem about Shing Yang and stuff. It was pretty good.
Next was the promotiong ceremony. Waited long enough for it. Nothing to do with me but it feels good to put on the ranks for the cadets and of course, my committee members. A day well spent. Missed Physics tuition but made up for it today. It was really good to see the new committee rising up and taking on our responsibilities as the next batch of leaders. I'm sure they'll make it better than what we had done. We had a totally disappointing year in leading the unit. Individual awards are nothing compared to winning competitions with the unit. The past years in VSRCCU had really benefited me much, and I really thank everyone who had helped along the way, especially all the previous batches of seniors.
Got the letter for Directors' Award on Thursday. Wasn't exactly excited or elated about it, felt just normal. I don't really think I deserve it much. I don't see why the other committee members wouldn't get it if they were nominated. Cos the unit wasn't really led properly by me yeah and things just went wrong. Much of the problems really lied in me...argh...
For today, went to school for Physics make up, nuclear Physics almost done. Then went to Edwin's house to slack. Today he was the man. Haha, doubt anyone will understand but must keep it under the wraps. Went there to slack all the way unti tuition. Mwaha. Then he like don't know what...damn paiseh like that haha. He ain't gutsy enough lah, hey when read my blog don't angry hor, just stating what I feel. Is it really that difficult to wave and say 'hi' or say 'bye'? Er...anyway, he was like totally scared...don't know lor, tried to help him liao, and gave him suggestions, Bryan also tried to help but then he just couldn't do it -_-". Seriously I think his plan a bit far-fetched and impossible, of course unless...haha.
Feeling quite...don't know how to say, feeling very mixed up. Sorta miserable lah. Things are not going my way and I can foresee that it will probably not. Just gotta try harder next time ya. Sorta feeling some regret for not doing what I should. I sure hope it'll not be too late...
我觉得很累，真得很累。我已经几乎想到疯了。没机会了吧，我就是这么懦弱的一个人。什么都做不了，却什么都想做。我想与她厮守一生，可是我知道她的心已在别人的身上了。我得加把劲儿，努力地向目标前进。我不想等到一切无法挽回之际才后悔莫及。说出来倒不是件艰难的事，后果应该会让我心碎吧，所以我一直都犹豫不决。我想为她做的事有这么多。我感觉得到眼眶已渐渐有些眼泪缓缓得流下。那是绝望的泪水，重伤的泪水。我是多么的怯弱无能，多么的脆弱。为了她，我什么都愿意做。
说爱你
我的世界 变得奇妙更难以言喻
还以为 是从天而降的梦境
直到确定 手的温度来自你心里
这一刻 我终于勇敢说爱你
一开始 我只顾着看你装做不经意 心却飘过去
还窃喜 你 没发现我 躲在角落
忙着快乐 忙着感动 从彼此陌生到熟
会是我们从没想过 真爱 到现在 不敢期待
要证明自己 曾被你想起 really
我胡思乱想就从今天起 I wish
像一个陷阱 却从未犹豫 相信
你真的愿意 就请给我惊喜
关于爱情 过去没有异想的结局
那天起 却颠覆了自己逻辑
我的怀疑 所有答案因你而明白
转啊转 就真的遇见 Mr. Right
我的世界 变得奇妙更难以言喻
还以为 是从天而降的梦境
直到确定 手的温度来自你心里
这一刻 也终于勇敢说爱你
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Wednesday, July 14, 2004
Oh yesh, magic number 99th post. How time flies since I first made this blog.
Missed my 76 in the morning, climbing up the overhead bridge then saw it at the bus stop liao, too far. Cannot make it. So I took 70 to PL and took a 135, coincidentally same bus at Kian Tiong yesh. Was sitting beside Zong Yu. One of the old Victorians who came back on Monday.
Chemistry the previous pract did like shit. Damn sucky especially my QA. Never explain properly. Then the titration so easy but then never put decimal place kena penalised like free. Next week mock for Chem prac liao, so fast mock come liao. Can die lor. No time to study properly. Whole day do E Maths and A Maths work. Friday got A Maths test somemore and then haven't hit the books yet. Tomorrow tuition as usual, so reach home super late, still got E Maths work haven't do. Tuition work also hardly touched. Argh...why so much stuff, can't even study.
Bio prac did on potato disc and the peanut crap. Quite ok but don't know some stuff lah. CME continued watching Twelve Angry Men. It's nice lor. Really good. The one sided simplicity of the murder was looked into and the opinions of 11 people changed. From 1-11 in favour of guilty to 1-11 in favour of not guilty then finally all agreed not guilty. A lot of hidden meaning and learning points in the movie. Things like social and racial discrimination, looking at things from a different view point and stuff. Really quite enriching. This Friday promotion for everyone, don't know what's gonna happen.
Came home usual stuff, train a bit then do my work, do until my eyes pain now...Somehow my pull ups not improving...stay there this whole week, no change. Argh, NAPFA coming liao, better buck up. Anyway, must make time to study no matter what, or else like that drag and drag will kill me one. But got other stuff on my mind...
在我开朗、快乐的面具之下，我掩饰了自己的悲伤。在这世上并没人喜欢失去。尤其是失去本身所最珍惜、最喜欢、最重视的事物。我想失去自己所有的人并不好受吧。失去之后，不是应该更努力地争取自己所希望的吗？难道就这样甘心地坠入人生的谷底吗？人生有起有落，不然还会叫做人生吗？我们必须尝试接受失去的痛苦与心酸。即使不开心，我们还是要在人生的道路上继续的走，直到自己遇到了值得让自己珍惜与爱护的对象。我倒是觉得有些事是值得等待的。就算要我等一辈子，我也愿意。就算明知自己已没希望，我还是奢望着有一天能够实现自己的愿望。
疼妳的责任
每次妳任性时说的一些话 妳知道那有多伤人吗
但我顶多只气个三分钟吧 最后依然体贴的送妳回家
有时想如果我不是一直让 妳也许会懂得学着体谅
但是我完全无法硬着心肠 做得让妳有一点难过失望
总觉得有疼妳的责任 要妳是最快乐最单纯的人
因为妳让我的心变得丰盛 原来不奢望的变成可能
总觉得有疼妳的责任 让妳做最轻松最自然的人
我想不遮掩也是一种信任 爱得了解包容 才算爱得完整
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Tuesday, July 13, 2004
Early morning got sprint training liao, sprint across the overhead bridge and to the bus stop. Good thing I caught the bus.
Tired...SS dragged until higher chinese time. Not surprising lah, Mdm Kwok, but she's a fine teacher alright. Just that gotta tackle the content yourself. Higher chinese was like...standard...talk a lot about the stuff. Xu Zhi Mo. His poems really very cool and suave. Then some stuff on Cambridge, yes it's THAT Cambridge. Just that in the 1920s...I think. Standard routine for recess lah, nothing much to say anywayz.
Physics practical, difficult. The Nov 2002 prac paper. Cannot take it. The ramp experiment really clueless until Mrs Foo say must improve on the experiment. The 2nd question I drew until to small. They said draw normal on half the line mah, that's what I did and wonderfully no 5 cm space between my pins. The graph pretty straight though...uh just remembered I didn't label it and the scale for axes also missing. Omg, gonna get it from Mrs Foo liao, first time I forgot to label lehz, kao. What I doing sia. Dragged until Bio then go through bio wb take ten years, left so little time for the notes. Syllabus for Bio finished liao, I presume. Learnt the malaria stuff.
After school got geog remedial and stuff lah, stayed back cos my geog no good. Anyway just go thru answers for the tourism. Then went to buy present for Mr Tik with Marcus, Malcolm and Kian Tiong. Searched high and low for the Gallileo's Thermometer, or rather the shop, dono fly where liao. Then settle for something else, those type of ship in the bottle one, quite nice, still got card. Nice. Got one the message very nice sia. "I wish you all the happiness. I wish you all the success. I wish...that you weren't leaving". Really saddens me to see such a great teacher leaving VS. Maybe on Friday I'll write a tribute or something. Bought birthday present for my father at the same time, some cheap stuff, wrapping paper also steal from the wrapping paper used for Mr Tik's one. But the wrapping paper writes happy birthday...that Malcolm anyhow take one from the rack and use.
Reached home 5 plus liao, immediately went to train. Sprint for some time then started to drizzle so chiong all the way back to my house. Just nice before it started raining like free. Heard 2.4 on friday. Can die, can kiss my gold goodbye liao...oh man. At night talked to Edwin on the phone, like quite what leh. He's pretty lucky lah, got what he wanted =). A big step for him yesh. I'm sure he'll get what he wants, haha. Can feel the excitement in his voice when talking to him. Gotta give himself more confidence and must work harder hahz. Anyway good luck, you'll make it.
今天毫无灵感可言。没有任何主题写，所以抱歉了。
第一次
当妳看着我 我没有开口 被妳猜透
还是没把握 还是没有符合 妳的要求
是我自己想得太多 还是妳也在闪躲
如果真的选择是我 我鼓起勇气去接受 不知不觉让视线开始闪烁
喔 第一次我 说爱妳的时候 呼吸难过 心不停地颤抖
喔 第一次我 牵起妳的双手 失去方向 不知该往那儿走
那是一起相爱的理由(对我) 那是一起厮守
喔 第一次吻 妳深深的酒涡 想要清醒却冲昏了头
喔 第一次妳 躺在我的胸口 二十四小时没有分开过
那是第一次知道 天长地久
感觉妳属于我 感觉妳的眼眸 第一次就决定 决不会错
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Monday, July 12, 2004
Today was a great day for me. First thing, morning managed to get all sec 4s to attend the Cadets' Recognition Day, it had better be good man...yesh, at least something to commerate, yeah, although the school one was more than enough. Anyway, assembly went to auditorium. Highlight of the day man. VJ principal came to give a talk, Light-Fire-Technology. Still remember vividly, what I remembered more was the seniors that returned back, about 8 I think. Really awe-inspiring. Motivation to work. VS students in VJ really shine brightly lor. The fact that this year the president of Students' Council and Chairperson of Monitors' Council are from VS, says a lot about our school's leadership training and stuff. Really proud to be a Victorian. VJC was originally meant to be built for Victorians. I agree. Will there be a fine day where all 400 plus of us make it to VJ and dominate the population? One of the guys, I remembered was from NCC(Air). He said about 80-100 Victorian there isn't enough to dominate, which is not true. Maybe in terms of bringing up there spirit not enough to dominate but all the leadership roles all taken up by Victorians, shows a lot about VS. Motivation by chanting VJ all the time. Yeah. I've got motivation from more than one source hahz. VJ...gotta work extremely hard to get in. Cut off supposedly is 7 pt, not raw, after minus the bonus points. But I think cannot get in one, must at least 10 pt or 9 pt raw. Far from it, so distant, but I gotta get there. The seniors said so much. Imagine not singing the Victorian Anthem but other school song, can't bear to do that. That's really great spirit displayed by them. Sad to say this kindda spirit dying down liao...I look at the camp instructors and I shake my head...sigh. Quite nothing to say. Hopefully the spirit will be built up again. Anyway if can get to VJ aiming for the soccer team, hahz, try lah but I'm not very good, must train, not now of course haha.
Talked so much liao...k continue...Physics should've make up, same for SS and Geog. Ok in fact Higher Chinese need to. Biology I blur liao lah, notes given totally cannot fit into our VS workbook, how...use textbook also a bit blur still. How I wish Ms Woo was still here lor, then her notes so good...sigh...argh, nvm. Try to source for other stuff ya. E Maths got more work, that's so cool man. RGS paper 2 haven't even complete. Still got other homework, tomorrow got geog remedial, but I wanna attend, after that buy gift for Mr Tik...then got what time left sia. Argh...
After school went home, changed, sprint training. Difficult, cos ground was very wet. Then could only sprint on the cement path, the paved stoney thingy cannot run, super slippery. Sprinted for 15 min like that, of course not continuous. Do a bit lah, too tired cannot study. At the end I almost slipped and fell off and rolled down the edge. Close shave, very close one. After that mug liao, slack a bit first lah, perspiring, not because weather hot but house damn humid, hate it. Anyway did homework and stuff lah, got a lot cannot finish. So only could do a bit A Maths only...My bro went to cut hair then his hair style until like what...haha. Looks okay lah...actually quite envy him, got this trophy. Not exactly great, may seem lame to others but I think it's meaningful and sweet, yeah. He going thailand in two days' time to enjoy...bon voyage, hahz.
Not exactly feeling good lah, more negative though. But gotta keep stuff till later...hope it can last lah. If do anything now, I'll be releasing all the crap now and I'd die from misery...haha. Ya, indeed.
总觉得自己很喜欢幻想。当然比较想幻想好的事。譬如...好多事...喜欢的事好多，喜欢的人只有一个，哈哈，无聊~。当然幻想着许多甜蜜的事，很多我想将来所发生的事，使我对未来充满憧憬。可是只要她每次都愁眉不展，我的脸上也毫无一丝笑容。她痛苦的表情也让我的心开始龟裂。她伤痕累累的内心也让我不好受。我一心只想她抛开烦恼，往好的一方面想，不再被痛苦束缚着。我只要她开心、幸福，无悲伤地过生活。
I Drive Myself Crazy
Lying in your arms
So close together
Didn't know just what I had
Now I toss and turn
'Cause I'm without you
Now I'm missing you so bad
Where was my head?
Where was my heart?
Now I cry alone in the dark
I lie awake, I drive myself crazy
Drive myself crazy thinking of you
Made a mistake when I let you go baby
I drive myself crazy wanting you
The way that I do...
I was such a fool
I couldn't see it
Just how good you were to me
You confessed your love, undying devotion
I confessed my need to be free
And now I'm left with all this pain
I've only got myself to blame
I lie awake, I drive myself crazy
Drive myself crazy thinking of you
Made a mistake when I let you go baby
I drive myself crazy wanting you
The way that I do...
Why didn't I know it?(How much I love you baby)
Why couldn't I show it?(If I had only known)
When I had the chance
Oh, I had the chance
I lie awake, I drive myself crazy
Drive myself crazy thinking of you
Made a mistake when I let you go baby
I drive myself crazy wanting you
The way that I do...
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Sunday, July 11, 2004
Wow...can't believe I woke up at 9 plus on a Sunday. One of the rare times I wake up so early haha. Was totally like no mood to do anything in the morning, so just went on the com and slacked. For very long. Regretted using so much, but anyway, lunch wasn't good, hah some minor details. Anywayz, went out to get a new pair of shoes, cos my new balance that one sorta gonna rip off soon, not that bad actually, put some contact glue should be able to use somemore I guess. Went Ang Mo Kio first, looking for the total 90 3, white and red, lotsa people wearing that one. Sold out...Went Queensway and find, many shops also sold out, anyway bought a nicer one, very cheap compared to sportslink price. Nike street soccer shoes also, but I like it better than the total 90. Got one shop sell the Total 90 until damn ex, I was like quite pissed by the way he said stuff lor, what here got size that's why more ex and stuff. Mark up the price like free. I just walked off.
Did my homework and stuff after coming back, good thing I finished some last night, or else would've died. Talking about last night...actually wanted to use com, but bro using, he said wait and I waited until 1.30am then heck care and went to sleep ya. Anyway, I then did A Maths tuition work. Don't want to do the E Maths papers liao, keep doing like siao, doesn't really benefit that much already, used the time for my chemistry tuition work. I sure hope syllabus teach finish real soon, then easier to revise, now revise half and learn new stuff a bit problematic. I don't mind if got remedials everyday even. In fact got remedials will minimise my slack time. Yeah, and that's good.
Not feeling very good, don't know why also, funny...Now I not even sure where I wanna go. If JC of course wanna get to VJ, if not maybe TJ but far...or AJ. Poly...don't know about it. But I'll just do my best and see what I can do about it. I've got high aims but my effort not enough to balance it up...must push harder.
念念不忘是我现在的感受。既使已有这么久的一段时间没见面，我内心还存有一种依依不舍的感觉。这可是重要的一年，使我内心有种莫名的挣扎。我明知道自己比较种视哪一方，但是却不知该如何采取行动。我更不知自己应该作什么。读书之际，她的事总是隐隐约约地出现在我脑海中，使我无法专注于自己该作的事。我曾想把心事推到会考之后，但是我心可放不下。我心里就这样成为了矛与盾，开始隐隐作痛。我也不知该如何是好。我不想作出鲁莽的决定后而后悔。我知道我的心已把我引到哪儿去了，可是我并不知道如何行动。隔了一段时间，我也对自己存有疑惑，连一丁点儿的念头也不知。我想进一步的前进，可是我也无法想出自己该怎么办，我真无能、无助啊。
爱的就是妳
在爱的幸福国度 妳就是我唯一 我唯一爱的就是妳
我真的爱的就是妳 失去才会懂得珍惜 但我珍惜妳
伤愈痛就是爱愈深 我不相信 妳和我同时停止呼吸
每一次我们靠近 妳让我忘了困惑 忘了所有烦心
我把妳紧紧拥入怀里 捧妳在我手心 谁教我真的爱的就是妳
在爱的纯净世界 妳就是我唯一 永远永远不要怀疑
我把妳当作我的空气 如此形影不离 我大声说我爱的就是妳
在爱的幸福国度 妳就是我唯一 我唯一爱的就是妳
我真的爱的就妳 爱的就是妳
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Friday, July 09, 2004
Ok, I typed like some crazy guy, then suddenly IE got prob, now re type a bit sian...so summart now lah, but here goes nothing.
PE in the morning...trained pull ups also lah, my palm the finger joint there pretty pain, cos today train until more fierce than usual. Ran 2.4. Super lousy, couldn't believe it. Must train more lor, sprint training yeah. Anyway my NAPFA I think can get all 5 points except for the damned 2.4. This is so frustrating lor, past few years about the same thing also. Argh. Train more ya. But must mug more haha. Played soccer in the field, so fun. Really great time out there, although very muddy. Won 1-0, Edwin scored. Class. Curled the ball at the near post. Damn nice. But ended up late for A Maths lessons, not late compared to the rest of the calss though. Really. Some people late for 20-25 min somemore...nothing much to say lah. Late until like that still dowan to listen and want to take break somemore. Not bad eh?
Higher Chinese later then relate lah. Went tuition, Physics starting part dozing off, later then suddenly became attentive. Alex and Vishnu beside me yakking all the way, noisy, hahz. Alex later left before Chem somemore. Chem just went through the revision stuff. Received quite some things. ACSI and TKGS papers. Then more prelim revision exercise...didn't know that Charlton and Zhi Xue got attend VTC also, today just see them sia. Pretty surprised.
Tired...both physically and mentally. Used up fuel liao. The thought of tomorrow's English mock puts me off. I'd rather have mock for other subjects lor...
Things can get better =).
今天的主题是感想。
先从华文课开始吧。王老师突然讲课讲到星期五周报的内容，什么横刀夺爱的。他把题目拟定成对我们有关系的，以至可以比较感受那气氛。就是说朋友喜欢上一个女生， 不敢对她示爱，找自己帮他牵线。然后牵来牵去，最终发现自己也喜欢上那位女生。听了别人的看法以及深入的想了之后，我觉得幸福就是应该自己争取的。若是真的喜欢那女生，那为何还不敢向人家表白呢？连这么简单的事都做不出，怎么还算是真的喜欢呢？爱情这件事应该是无条件的付出吧，不敢于表达自己的人又哪有资格去爱？爱情是自由的，不应该被任何事物阻挠，更不应该被友谊给绊住。
但是若我自己本身真的在那种情况下的话，我会比较注重女方的想法吧。因为爱情是双方面的付出，不应该单单由自己与朋友之间决定的。既然有这种状况发生，还是让女方决定才是最好的办法吧。若是失败的那一方，就应该心服口服地退出，祝福自己的好友。如果连这样的事也办不到，那这是何谓的友谊？爱情这种事是两情厢愿的。只要有一方不愿意，不管如何撮合都是白费力气。
明明很爱妳
女: 有多少人在旁边 我们都视而不见
彼此却忍不住多看几眼 感觉强烈
女: 已经微笑的放电 已经暗示到极限
没勇气的人犹豫的瞬间 幸福就飘过面前
男: 我平凡无奇而妳 像灿烂星星 让我担心
合: 明明很爱妳 明明想靠近
男: 但是妳的身边有人捧花总是拥挤
我凭什么一一打败情敌 敢大声说要做妳的唯一
女: 我的唯一
合: 明明很爱妳 明明想靠近 (明明很爱我 明明想靠近)
为什么还要再浪费时间不把你抱紧 (为什么还要再浪费时间不把我抱紧)
够真心 才是最厉害的武器 (够真心 就是最厉害的武器)
我会拼命让妳你更满意 (妳要拼命让我更满意)
女: 讲配不配太俗气 说爱不爱要问心
爱由我们自己决定不必理 跌破谁的眼镜
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Thursday, July 08, 2004
Tired...Can hardly keep awake liao. But today rather fruitful lah, so don't mind. Got what I also cannot remember liao. Oh yeah, A Maths do the vectors and stuff, sorta get it liao. Enlish went through the speech, boring, cos rather easy. Preparation for mock examon Saturday. Don't understand why English so many mock, should have other subjects also mah.
Mr Zuraimi got sore throat then a bit problem when speaking to class. Handed in holiday homework, stack of 0.5cm paper. Others like damn thin like that, don't know why. They budget perhaps, hahz. Started doing the RGS prelim 2002, my Cedar one not even done yet, kao, keep giving non stop leh, will die one. Then later some Chem practical, generally okay lah, titration and QA, this time experiments not too difficult and I think I did most correctly. Think. When doing mole calculation titration, scratched my finger on the staple bullet, middle page of the practical book, not too deep though. Then later pouring extra hydrochloric acid into burette that time kena pushed and ta-da, my fresh cut kena hydrochloric acid, quite pain only...unlucky.
After school go do tuition homework in library. Difficult sia, Shaun and Edrei both don't know how to do, got some ASEAN scholar to do but his method too chim liao, don't understand. Vipul knew how to do, ya, and simpler somemore. The method suits me.
Tuition that time, usual stuff, go through the questions and practised more, then talk cock with Ka Fai also...now I think my integration can make it liao, like learning from scratch like that. Don't know what I doing during lessons last time, or maybe don't like Mdm Teo style of teaching. But still gain a lot from the lesson. After tuition on the bus, saw this guy staring at Vanessa. Then he was like totally staring...purposely turn his head away but eyeballs still roll back to stare and he was with his girlfriend somemore. Nothing to say...detest this kindda people.
Tired, came home did some A Maths tys. Then tired liao. Still got tomorrow the tuition work haven't do lor, I'm so dead.
嘿，这次有大部分是从别处摄取的。尤其是前几句话(这小段能有几句话？)。写得有些格格不入，因为用了‘她’和‘妳’，话题又突然转移...
不知道什么时候开始，只要是妳在叫我的名字，我就觉得自己的名字似乎特别响亮。只要能让妳笑，要我做几次都行，反覆地做也可以，我开始...想这些傻事，是从什么时候开始的？不知从什么时候开始，我变得如此喜欢妳，而且无法自拔了。与妳在一起的每一分，每一秒都是我记忆中最珍贵的一部分。我们独处的时间少之又少，但是我仍记得妳的一举一动，妳的爱好与厌恶。与妳在一起的时光是那么美好，那么兴奋的。我是多么的想让妳躺在我肩膀上，把困在内心的痛苦从泪中发泄出。可是我却办不到，我并没有资格拥有这么完美的妳。
虽然已经不会再回来...虽然无法实践...即使如此那朵小花仍然在我面前继续绽放。那朵小小的花...好小好小的花，是我最珍贵，最珍贵的...
可是尽管如此，我想保护她，让她被自己保护。我想保护她，不让她脆弱的心坎再次地的被伤害，不让她再有不愉快的回忆。能够做到这一点的话，我终身无憾。
真心话
早晨醒来身上沾了颜料
而画笔还握得很紧很牢
阳光中妳仍静静悄悄
在画板上看着我微笑
几乎每天梦到散着步和妳聊
有一种幸福和美好
我感觉得到 却捕捉不到
有时候让情绪很糟
感动明明塞满胸口 却说不明白
我爱得多么澎湃 只愿妳能看得出来
喜欢妳想爱妳想说真心话
我只有深情 但请妳收下
我只有痴狂 却不懂得方法
把我心里想的怀里有的清楚让妳看吧
喜欢妳想爱妳想说真心话
路也许还长 但爱已出发
我也许太傻 却一点也不假
会永远体贴永远守约妳肯让我爱你吗
(想看着妳闹陪着妳笑让我爱妳吧)
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Wednesday, July 07, 2004
Maybe next time won't use com so often liao, hopefully weekends then use ba...cos everytime turn the com on at 11 then will tend to use until 1. Then become very tired...don't know whether should use or not...better not to lah but...nvm lah will do.
Today woke up late >_<. But ok lah ah? Went to sign the hearts for the Presidents' Challenge thingy. Mr Ang said the first 10k will be put on bus 197. Then next 10k on bus 196, don't know why never choose other buses, like 76, haha. Nothing much happened today..went auditorium for english lor, write some draft thingy for compo give so little time to think and write, handed in a rather shabby one lah. Don't know whether Marcus and Malcolm wanna buy gift for Mr Tik liao, they like not enthu liao, if the class not gonna give then I buy one myself lor, get others to chip in perhaps. Bio did some practical, quite simple leh, o'level paper somemore. CME was great, watched the movie called "12 Angry Men". It's really good, although no time to watch finish. Next week continue. Really nice lor. About this guy accused of murdering his father and with all odds against himself. Then the jury of 12 people supposed to make final decision whether to sentence him guilty or not. Starting was 11-1, in favour of guilty, then later that sole guy said so much about the loop holes and stuff and watch until even, 6-6. Really glued to it. And the fact that the whole 1 hour plus so far all in the jury room deciding, and it keeps me glued to the screen. Really great.
Actually wanted go tm with Edwin and Bryan lah, but Edwin got the GSSP, his name not in the list then go ask Mdm Kwok about it lah. On the way Bryan totally dissuading him from going at all, I felt that it was best to leave the decision to himself though. Saw some news on TK at night, I think they changing to autonomous school next year? I don't know. Not sure what the thing meant anyway.
I feel that I'm a total idiot, got a rare chance and let it slip past my fingers so easily, didn't even try. I ought to kill myself for it...argh. Sounded tired and like a bit frustrated...I was like...oh man, didn't even show some concern. Feel so depressed and remorseful. Feel so useless, can't help a least bit. I'm so sorry for everything I did wrong...sigh...
为什么每次想换主题，总是回到原点？真是的...要尝试不同的写法。我写的似乎越来越没品质了。
我还蛮满意现在的生活。我有一群死党，不管做什么都很愉快。与他们在一起十分好玩，没有任何无聊的时刻。课业虽然是个蛮重的包袱，但是我确能够好好地掌握住大部分的要点。但是这也许只是表面上而已吧。我内心却还真难受。感觉似乎随时都会停下脚步而放声大哭一场。虽然内心深处真的很悲伤，很想哭，但实际上我根本哭不出来。这让我脆弱的心灵受到更大的折磨与煎熬。我是多么的想对别人倾诉我内心的挣扎，我心里的感受，我对她的感觉。我并不认为有谁可了解我的感受。我只希望能够再度遇见她，而让我把握机会，向她表示我对她的情感。
想见妳
疲倦的背包 它不问我是否寂寥 无奈的手表
孤单地走过每一秒 阳光静悄悄 街上有人拥抱
我听得到 没有人知道 口袋里我藏着 妳的味道
想见妳 没有妳 城市再炫也没意义
热闹的全都是妳幻影 想见妳 心太急
狂奔拥挤的人群里 多希望 下一秒就见到妳
天虽然很高 思念像云笼罩 我很低潮 我所有沉默
如果妳看得到 给我拥抱 微风轻轻飘 寂寞在笑声里
默默喧闹 只有我知道 不需要再寻找 谁的依靠 想见妳
没有妳 每天生活只剩呼吸 闭上眼 晃动的 全都是妳
想见妳 我的心 其实从来不曾离去 这一生只想和你在一起
想见妳 没有妳 每天生活只剩呼吸 闭上眼 晃动的
全都是妳 想见妳 我的心 其实从来不曾离去
全世界最重要的就是妳
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Tuesday, July 06, 2004
Today, I trudged to school with a heavy heart. Yeah, felt really like shit. To make things worse, I was late for school. That was like first time since ages. Anyway, was like much better after my lessons...felt so much better. Forgot everything, haha. Must maintain. Got perked up by those corny and lame jokes. Really. Then time passed so fast, don't know since when I enjoyed my lessons and stuff lah. Got so much info packed in, must revise so that can keep it in ^_^.
Geography as usual lah, no time to finish everything so considered the syllabus teach finish liao left with social studies. Higher Chinese was like totally almost two periods talking about the Chinese operas and history...then left a bit of time ask us read the textbook, relevant lah but still...
Physics learnt the electrical/circuit components lah, but done in tuition liao, so pretty familiar, need more revision though. Biology was totallly nothing to say lor, no respect for teacher leh. Even when greeting can only hear a few voices. Totally disgusted by my class behaviour, totally sucks man. Cannot take it.
After school do my new routine lor...train pull ups, realised improved significantly, but still needs improvement. Remembered end of last week was like dying...then today recharged haha. Anyway, my worry is the damned 2.4km. I quite sucky at it liao then still never train...actually cos very ma fan to train, then train liao very tired, no mood to study and do work lah...pull up easier haha.
Since I've gotten cheery, I hope I won't get down again lah. Realised some things will have to wait. And seriously hope it'll not kill if I wait. If it does I might as well just kill myself ya.
这次的主题与上两回有稍微的不同，观念也差不多吧...以后可能会写别的吧。总觉得这次写得蛮逊的。好像没有人看我的这几段随笔...
我觉得我的生活很空虚，没什么好期待的。也许自己不过是有点无聊罢了。课业的压力倒是压得我有点喘不过气，但那也没什么大不了的。生命中唯一的期待好像就这样从眼中消失了。对我而言，活着也完全没有意义。我所喜欢的一切，从我怀中狠狠地被剥夺了。生活根本就毫无乐趣。我们之间是从感情不错的朋友而开始的。我却对她日渐生情，让我无法自拔。虽然这不过是自己一厢情愿的想法，我心中总是抱着一丝的希望，希望奇迹会出现。但是我不曾遇见过这所谓虚拟的奇迹。我反而被幸运女神给抛弃，让自己坠落谷底。用冷淡来表示我们之间的关系还真是贴切。即使到了这时刻，我还在祈祷，祈祷会有叫做爱情的花朵从我们之间萌芽并且茁壮成长。
第二次爱上妳
时间呀 你听见我了吗
滴答声中我又想起妳
回亿阿 醒了吗
我只想问一个问题妳好吗
爱的记亿会像铁盒一样生锈吗
就算思念旧的可以 也别丢掉她
想念啊 妳听见我了吗
可能吗 第二次让我爱上妳
飞走的往事呀 请妳转个弯
我爱妳的时光 妳没忘了吧
我再也不会让妳哭了呀
妳听见吗(I Love You)
可能吧 是我的眼泪吗
这是第几次又想起妳 明天哪 再说吧
爱情加上一个也许 也不怕
妳爱不爱我 是未知数
剪下妳给我的回忆 走我走的路
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Monday, July 05, 2004
Hm...slept at 6, woke up at 2. Was slacking like free then went on to finish up my geog work. Feel so tired of doing everything. Don't really feel like doing anything, just wanna lie down and keep my mind blank and free of anything.
Don't know what to say, nothing much to say. Just that I still have some work undone. Especially my Bio practical, don't even know how to draw the don't know what plant lah, and I think must hand in tomorrow, so many stuff to hand in on Thursday also. Don't wanna think of it lah. Don't wanna think of anything. Really tired of things. Can things get better? I know it's up to myself to make things better, if nothing is done by me, nothing will be changed. Things are so topsy turvy now...I seem to be crapping again. But doesn't really matter to me lah. Feeling so empty, it's so meaningless.
这次写的大致上与上次的有同样的感觉和内容。没办法，没有别的点子。
有时，我还真羡慕漫画与电视剧中的主角。那种爱情情节虽把主角弄得十分可怜似的，但他们确还有机会见到自己心仪的对象。哪像我这白痴，什么都做不到，连自己像喜欢的人也无法为她做什么。我还真没用呀。我感觉得到自己的无能，自己的无助。感觉上她为了某件事而开始沮丧。那是什么，我倒是毫无头绪。只想让她过得愉快，并没有别的愿望，就这么简单。真希望自己能够为她负担她的心酸与痛苦，同时与她分享自己的欢乐。在我心目中，她永远是最棒，最美丽的公主。我知道我并没有资格当她的王子。我只能奢望自己能够待在她身旁，当个永远守护着她的天使。
请妳相信我
一定是我从妳心里 拿走了什么
不然怎么妳的双眼 忽然很沉默
有人说 永远太苦了 谁说不是呢
爱情哪 太惊心动魄 我才把妳手紧握
时空换了 光阴飞走 世界都变了
请妳相信我 爱妳是真的
风起云涌 潮来潮落 人海中的我
只要世界还有妳 回忆不会贫穷 请妳相信我
我不停问下一分钟 能给妳什么
那时让妳哭过的话 是我在胡说
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Yes, Euro 2004 has ended...only reason I'm staying up is to note down some stuff which I felt inspired to. Really inspired.
Another surprise victory for the Greeks, 1-0 to them. Portugal had most of the game in their control and had several really great chances but couldn't convert them. All it took was a corner conceded to Greece to end their dreams of their first major trophy. There goes the "golden age" of Portugal without a trophy in the senior team. The likes of Figo and Rui Costa may be gone forever. Rui Costa has announced his retirement from international football.
I was really astonished by the results. What really inspired me to write this blog at this time was not the entertainment value of the match. True, it wasn't a bad match but still there are lessons to learn. Portugal lost. The players were dejected. Seems normal enough, Ronaldo shed tears of misery and sadness. I could feel the pain within the Portugese players and I could also feel tears welling up in my eyes. Portugal deserved every bit to win, not only for their performance but for their spirit. Really I salute them. They were great. Exceptional. It was really touching to see the players so hungry for the trophy, not for themselves but for honour and glory of their country.
Greece deserve the European championship. Upsetting so many teams along the way, showing great tactics and strategy despite a lack of players of class. But I felt that Portugal had the cutting edge which Greece never had. Beautiful game indeed, soccer. Pushes players to their limits and squeezes every ounce of their mental strength. Of course when Greece celebrated I could also feel their diginity and pride but not as strong. Yeah, many would find this Euro screwed up and stuff. But not me. Things never always go your way, life is always full of ups and downs, or it wouldn't be called life. A pity for Portugal no doubt, but I'm sure they'll be able to make it in the future...
If you think I'm sick to stay up and write this crap, I also have nothing to say, personal preference, as I always like to say.
Suddenly feel that I'm so screwed up, everything. I hate the way things are going around me, and myself. Things are just so cold. Just have this sickening feeling. I hate this feeling as well. I gotta drive it away...
让我心动的人
己好久没有妳的消息 好久都没有和谈心
好想念妳 总爱对我说 妳近来痘痘怎么那么多
如今妳是否还 留长发 妳是否仍每夜迟回家
妳是不是还爱咬指甲 oh girl 我今夜好想妳呀
梦 若和妳的一切都是梦 那为何我会心动
谁 为了谁 为了谁心动在分分钟 风 它不肯说
云 悄悄飘过 黑夜它依旧沉默 只有天上一颗星
星说 她睡了 你是否也该休息了 风 它不肯说
云 悄悄飘过 心跳却说服我 没有错 让我心动的人
是谁呀 愿那在梦中的妳会懂
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Slept at 4 in the morning. No reason, no match to watch either. Just deeply thinking about some stuff. Even as I went to bed, my mind was still wandering, couldn't sleep. Woke up at 12...or rather I woke up no less than five times during my sleep. So noisy, my parents. Woke up that time so drowsy...ate my breakfast at 12.30 I think. And had my lunch at 1.30 (!!). Yes, was feeling bloated...anyway, went off to do my work lor, as usual sorta get distracted at times. Yeah, then later my parents went off for some wedding dinner, and I was left alone, peaceful studying environment at last, heh.
Didn't bother to go out buy dinner. Or rather can say I'm lazy lah, but still the fresh air out there would've helped. Ate cup noodles for dinner. Then ate a load more of rubbish as well haha.
Nothing much to much to say leh, later wanna watch Euro. Last game liao. And tomorrow Youth Day somemore, so must watch. Go Portugal!! Hate Greece haha.
I think maybe gonna type some paragraphs of stuff lah, in Chinese as usual. Feel that Chinese more elegant leh. And our roots originated from China haha, crapping again...anyway just feel like it lah, when I got some stuff to express yep.
嘿嘿，觉得还蛮想写些东西。当我诗意大发或者深有感触之际，都会想写几段随笔来表达自身的想法。就算没有人想看也无所谓啦，只要能够表达自己就够了。所以若真的有人看的话，请多多包涵，多多指教，有何错误请务必告诉我。谢谢。
我觉得自己完全像个白痴，连碰面的机会少之又少，还敢痴心妄想。感觉上自己内心很痛苦，她在我脑海里挥散不去。但我早已意识到她是不会看上我这个平凡的人。不，我也许比平凡人更差劲，更没用。以前我们俩的关系还不算太坏，普通朋友嘛，有时还蛮谈得来的。但最近我们的友谊却似乎开始冷淡了。何止冷淡...简直差不多没有沟通。也许是因为她心情不好吧...但是她好像因什么事件而困扰...她始终好像不愿把心事让人知道。我还真没用，看到她心灵受到重创我却无法为她作什么事，更无法适当地安慰她。我早就知道自己是无法得到她的芳心，但却始终没法把她从心中沫灭，也无法放下她不管。最让我感到无助的是我没办法让她开心、快乐的过生活。这是我这一生中的遗憾。我一直想着她，想着她可爱的面貌，想着她可爱的想法，想着她可爱的性格，想着围绕着她的每一件事。我也卑视自己的无能，自己无法让她开心，自己的无用。如果我能够让她快乐的过生活，就算我在她眼中并不起眼，也没在她心中有任何特别的地位，我也终身无憾。
你听得到
有谁能比我知道 妳的温柔像羽毛
秘密躺在我怀抱 只有妳能听得到
还有没有人知道 妳的微笑像拥抱
多想藏着妳的好 只有我看得到
站在屋顶只对风说 不想被左右
本来讨厌下雨的天空 直到听见有人说爱我
坐在电影院的二楼 看人群走过
怎么那一天的我们 都默默的微笑很久
我想我是太过依赖 在挂电话的刚才
坚持学单纯的小孩 静静看守这份爱
知道不能太依赖 怕妳会把我宠坏
妳的香味一直徘徊 我舍不得离开
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Saturday, July 03, 2004
Was late for the meeting, not that I needed to be there lah but camp debrief also not much comments can make. Actually really wanted to go for the SYF first aid duty lah but decided the unit more important. So gotta apologise to Huda mdm for the last minute withdrawal. Anyway, can finally be relieved of some stuff liao, cos I know the unit will be in safe hands with the new provisional committee. I believe it'll turn out fine lah and things can go smoothly, can't see how else it can be improved. Even when have problems, I firmly believe that our VIs can take care of stuff. Discussed a lot on the committee and stuff, activities also, but more importantly in the ability to function as a committee and stuff lah, before deciding on other things. Sorta feel at ease leaving the unit like that. Now time to concentrate on my work liao^^.
I am such an idiot...some things that I wanna do and I ought to do so, I am unable to. Can't even extend a little helping hand...Feels so bad, feels like shit. I ought to stab myself man...argh. Left with one more problem...but that one can hardly be put off or solve lor...must treat it as a motivational factor to work, yep. Hope things turn out well for me...
I Believe
I Believe 当我在妳家门口 下雨了 妳看了也会难过
I Believe 妳不说话的时候 也是一种 其实妳在回应我
虽然不曾说 相信妳正在懂 就算牵的不是我的手 我不真的难过
不知道在高兴什么 妳的笑容 有时候也宁可当作妳在为我加油
不知道在妄想什么 只告诉自己 I Believe
妳总会看到我 在某个时候 想让妳陪伴的是我
I Believe 没有回应的时候 只不过 正好妳在电话中
I Believe 语音信箱的沉默 也是一种 其实妳在倾听我
虽然不曾说 相信妳正在懂 就算牵的不是我的手 我真的不难过
不知道在高兴什么 妳的笑容 有时候也宁可当作妳在为我加油
不知道在妄想什么 只告诉自己 I Believe
妳总会看到我 在一切之后 留在妳身边的是我
那延续太久的一时冲动 在妳身后的独角戏 聚光灯没亮过
怀疑 是自己编造的内容 妳从不真的认得我
不知道在高兴什么 妳的笑容 有时候也宁可当作妳在为我加油
不知道在妄想什么 只告诉自己 I Believe
一定会有结果 在很久以后 留在妳身边的是我 会陪着妳的人是我
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Friday, July 02, 2004
Tired lah, past week always sleep at 1 plus...super tired. School everything normal, assembly so lengthy, cut into our PE for at least 10 - 15 min I believe. Wasted so much time leh. Took height and weight, then played soccer, lol. Scored one goal very nice, don't know how to explain, but I remembered last time Kewell played for Leeds that time got cross like that before. The sorta deft chip that last time Jonathan like to do. Yeah that was some time back. Have a flair for nice goals lol. That time played soccer at ECP during PE, then socre a goal like the Sweden vs Italy that goal, flick with the heel, lol. Nice. Ok, enough of bhb liao...haha
A Maths continued on Vecotrs, then did some worksheets, rather different from E Maths, but still managable gotta try somemore then can. Higher Chinese the usual lah, he talk so much until left half an hour expect us to do some compo...in the end about before 1pm then released. Then return the sui bi we did in holidays say what I ben chi qing chang. Total nonsense leh. My compo just write a bit more gan xing only then like that...next time I don't write again lah, damn embarassing sia when he say. Anyway, got tuition also lah, so I didn't really mind. Did tuition work with Vishnu in library. Yong Bin was bugging me for notes...didn't bring any except those still teaching now. Anyway he's a nice guy lah, shouldn't say he was bugging me.
Went parkway walk a bit to see can buy what for my father's birthday. Decide to buy some lighter for him, those more classy ones of course. $30 at least. Omg, I'm broke after my comics speding spree. Saving cash lah. Should be able to, cos I doubt will have any problems.
Tuition quite ok lah. Did the stuff that didn't need to do, didn't do stuff that needed to be done >_<. That's great. Really. Asked to do first aid duty tomorrow for SYF. Half a mind to go. No one else wanna do lor, all busy or dowan. Jeremy is long ago wanna do liao. So I sorta in a dilemma, cos tomorrow supposed to help with the sec 3s!! How!? Don't know, if don't go will get strangled by Mrs Raj...oh man. Anyway I'll talk to Mark first lah then see. The hours also damn long lor, killer. I also no details about the first aid duty lor...see first lah.
Homework got damn a lot. Lemme see...Geog got those worksheets on global warming and stuff, Tuesday. E Maths the holiday stuff and the new work given but Thursday...Higher Chinese got one sui bi or jian bao, the zao zu thingy left with the summary, Tuesday. Chem VS prelim 2003, Thursday. A Maths exercise 19C I think...Should be Thursday. Physics got some stuff but forgot liao...Bio got practical book to finish up. What else I forgot liao, so practically only English no have lah. So can die.
分裂
坐着我的摩托车 载妳缓缓的离开
考不上好的学校 可以不微笑就走
把手慢慢交给我 放下心中的困惑
雨点从两旁划过 割开两种精神的我
经过老伯的家 篮框变得好高
爬过的那棵树 又何时变得渺小
这样也好 开始没人注意到(妳)我
等雨变强之前 我们将会分化软弱
趁时间没发觉 让我带着妳离开
没有了证明 没有了空虚
基于两种立场我会罩着妳
趁时间没发觉 让我带着妳离开
这不是顽固 这不是逃避
没人绑着你走才快乐
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Thursday, July 01, 2004
Tired...ZZZ...today don't know what happened, no have flag raising and stuff. Stupid lah, they go put the chairs and tables in the hall for the O'levels oral, then when rain have to go back to class, in the end no needa sing the national anthem and take the pledge. NCC day...never hear the message whatsoever.
Then first period no teacher in class, cos got don't know what lah. Then I was like a total dead person. Lie on the table like free. Then when the lessons started I just knocked out and slept through A Maths. The vectors she taught all learnt in E Maths liao, but still should've listened...couldn't though, really dead beat. The late nights are taking a toll on me...got my butt up during english though...so not that bad, ok lah it's bad enough.
Whoa...E Maths never bring the compiled papers, got use sia...unlucky. Chemistry did some QA, results all damn funny one...die liao. Did some work in school before tuition again...tired sia...the fatigue has gotten into me, don't know what happened, recess do pull up that time totally off sia...after school slightly better lah but realised right shoulder there pain, so stopped doing...think I gotta take a little rest. Edwin say what I was looking damn down, then walking also sorta slouching, unlike the usual me...Don't know, just thinking...thinking of what I can do. Yes. Also feel rather listless. Try not to show them...or else let them worry over nothing, heh.
May I Love You
我要如何才能拥抱妳呢 紧紧抱着 我吻妳
你附和 从朋友晋升情人角色 从苦涩转变成了快乐
把钥匙交给了妳 妳却转身将我囚禁在一扇叫做等待的门里
妳试过那么多心的锁 怎么就不来开启我的爱情
Love you, Love you, May I love you
Tell me what to do 才能让妳不孤单我不孤独
一起找幸福 当这个世界一步一步华丽到荒芜
请放心我还是妳的信徒 Love you, Love you,
May I love you Tell me you love me too
我可以继续付出 付出就够我满足 不相信爱情对我永远(的)残酷
我奢望时间会为我祝福 看着我这样投入
难道妳都没有感触 不接受至少给我些帮助
就说妳感动到想要哭多少能减轻一点我的痛苦
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...morning same stuff lah, nothing to say, no mood to say. Actually everything was pretty alright today. Slack day I'd say. Only four periods in class total. In auditorium for English for 3 periods. Explain the mid year stuff, also nothing much actually. Chem was like practically using both periods doing the Cedar prelim paper...Bio did some practical, revision on last time the work last, Benedict's test, biuret test, iodine test and stuff. Last was CME, new teacher Mr Donald Leo. Nice guy, he also our new PE teacher. But PE teacher change or not, makes not much diff...still the same stuff I guess. But he really a good teacher lah, not in terms of teaching lah but in terms of pride as a teacher and stuff. Showed some movie clips on Troy...use pirated disc somemore...haha, subtitles damn funny, lame sia.
Then after school got the financial seminar in the auditorium...was alright lah, later went parkway eat with the usual four of us. Things started to get damn lousy for me. Realised I lost my bottle, yeah that's pretty expensive, and most prob cannot get back liao, left in the dumb auditorium of all places. Hardest to access. Might as well just go jump down. Walked around and stuff, found some stuff that I wanna buy but no cash lah, anyway now buy also not able to use much, but the stuff I wanna buy rather practical. Saving up for my father's birthday present lah...cannot anyhow spend now.
Reach home was like...shit. Don't know what to say. Did some work and stuff then like about 10 plus use com. Feeling damn sucky...argh. Anyway let my father use, trying to ensure some modem works. Then my bro say use very fast one...let him use and now it's 12 plus, should've slept quite some time ago actually, but I insisted on using the damned com. Yeah...damn me too. Sick. Feels damn bad...
看到妳心碎，我也感到伤心欲绝
也同时痛恨自己
痛恨自己的无能
痛恨自己为何无法适当的安慰妳
痛恨为何我什么都无法为妳做
我似乎连倾听妳心事的资格都没有
感觉上我连与妳当朋友的资格都没有
我是多么希望妳愿意向我倾诉自己的心事
因为我会一直陪着你试着保护妳
不让你受到任何心灵上的伤害
我觉得自己宛如个废物似的
连自己喜欢的人都没办法为她作些什么
说实在的我真的很担心她
我想与她分担她自己的担忧与伤感
让她心里好受一些而不会再这么不愉快
只希望她的一切会变得更好、更快乐
暗号
我想要的 想做的 妳比谁都了
妳想说的 想给的 我全都知道
未接来电 没留言 一定是妳孤单的想念
任何人都 猜不到 这是我们的暗号
他们猜 随便猜 不重要
连上彼此的讯号 才有个依靠
有太多人太多事 夹在我们之间咆哮
杂讯太多讯号弱 就连风吹都要干扰
可是妳不想 一直走在黑暗地下道
想吹风 想自由 想要一起手牵手
去看海 绕世界流浪
我害怕妳心碎没人帮妳擦眼泪
别管那是非 只要我们感觉对
我害怕妳心碎没人帮妳擦眼泪
别离开身边 拥有妳我的世界才能完美
妳说妳想逃开松手 爱太累 爱得不自由
因为我给不起最简单的承诺
妳停止收讯号 我开始搜寻不到
到底有谁知道 是几点钟方向 妳才会收到暗号
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