Well Flag day just ended today and yeah it was good. I mean we were doing our best to help all the beneficiaries and all no? Did our best by dragging our tired bodies down the streets, asking for donations from countless passers-by. All that's left is Rag. Despite being behind schedule with our dance and float, I firmly believe we'll put up a good show. Really hope it's good. Winning is besides the point 'cos putting up a good show would probably give us something to win right haha. And I just love my EHOC OG, Antra, you freshies really rock =) make me feel so heartened to continue working for you guys!
Right...so many days have passed. I'm kind of numb already. Bad but too bad for me man. Yes I mean yeah I don't like it when one thing is being said and another is being practised. Like saying emotional attachment in a relationship and stuff led to the ending of our relationship ending and getting right into another one in about 2 months' time. What irony. Absolutely. Don't think I'm asking too much for an answer on that one am I? Maybe it's just wishful thinking on my part but I don't like to be left hanging. As much as I would like to believe in everything that has been said in the past, I can't help but think about how much of the words were true in the past after those exact words were being contradicted.
Don't get me mistaken. I'm not being sore or anything and I am genuinely happy that happiness has been found for someone who used to be my world. Her happiness mattered and still does matter to me. Love is probably still in the air but in an entirely different manner. Nothing near what we used to feel for each other. Just caring for a friend right now.
In all honestly I feel betrayed to a certain extent. Words that made me willing to wait forever crushed me in less than a few months. I don't know what happened. I wonder still and I do want to know an answer. Was hoping to get things ironed out before year 2 starts but looks like it ain't gonna happen. Oh wells, nothing ever goes to plan in life. The only constant in life is change isn't it? I still don't know how difficult it is to even reply to a single message even if it's something negative. This all led me to think very negatively of what had been the greatest time of my life.
My mentality now is just to fuck it and let it be, really. I would really like to give others the benefit of a doubt to explain themselves and of course I haven't discounted the possibility of me just thinking too much and all. But all I can hope for is a simple answer to the fleeting thoughts in my mind that just fades away as the days go by.
I do feel empty now but not in a bad way. I feel fulfilled enough with Eusoff orientation already haha. Well Winnie the Pooh is something special to me for it was what someone used to call me by and the affinity I felt for it when I played both Kingdom Hearts and Kingdom Hearts II. The stuffed toy sits staring right at me in my room haha.
怎么隐藏我的悲伤
失去你的地方
你的发香散得匆忙
我已经跟不上
闭上眼睛还能看见
你离去的痕迹
在月光下一直找寻
那想念的身影
如果说分手是苦痛的起点
那在终点之前我愿意再爱一遍
想要对你说的不敢说的爱
会不会有人可以明白
我会发着呆然后忘记你
接着紧紧闭上眼
想着那一天会有人代替
让我不再想念你
我会发着呆然后微微笑
接着紧紧闭上眼
又想那一年你温柔的脸
在我忘记之前
心里的眼泪模糊了视线
你会看不见
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