Sigh...a short 2-3 minute reflection in the car made me realize some stuff. I wonder if it's too little too late. As KT said, I probably crossed the line after things ended. Asking myself, what have I done right after that fateful day? Almost nothing and almost everything was done wrongly or I carried myself in a wrong way. Either being over concerned or poking my nose into things that are no longer an entitlement to me. I have to know where I stay but yep it may be too late that I've realized it. I had been nothing short of a pest. If this continues on, I really have got nothing to say and no one else to blame but myself. I thoroughly deserve this outcome.
Sometimes on my emo days, which occurs once in a while I just feel that I'd be better off dead. Things feel so dreary and terrible. Seemed like life's not worth the living at times. Not tt I'd really look for my death, not something I'd actually do but I get the mentality that it doesn't matter if I'm not around anymore. I guess it's normal eh, but after a night's rest I'll normally feel better the next day ya.
Really, really regret alr. In our bro language, it's self-pwned. Yep some things are really not within my control but I blew practically everything that was within my reach and whatever that I could effect a change on. I probably lost my respect and god knows what else I've lost. Regret, regret. If I could turn back time, I'll definitely do things and conduct myself in a different way :( too little too late for me. Has the Time Traveler's Wife been read? Somehow, I envy Henry DeTamble in the book. Although he time traveled consistently, he managed to find his true love and they stayed together all the way. Despite the not-so-happy ending, he still had a beautiful life in my opinion. If only I could time travel like him to undo my wrongdoings. Would I ever have a fulfilling life like his?
Yea I constantly think about Final Fantasy VIII. The reason why I liked it the most out of the Final Fantasy series was probably due to the love story of Squall Leonhart and Rinoa Heartily. How Squall's personality was vastly transformed after meeting Rinoa. The first of any FF series that had such a story which was somewhat in depth. I don't know, I really am clueless sometimes. About myself and about my Rinoa. I miss you but there's nothing I can do about it but I know now, I'll be careful. Careful not to go overboard or do anything wrong. I've learnt my lesson already. A painful one indeed.
疲倦的背包它不问我是否寂寥
无奈的手表孤单地走过每一秒
阳光静悄悄街上有人拥抱我听得到
没有人知道口袋里我藏着你的味道
想见你没有你城市再炫也没意义
热闹的全都是你幻影
想见你心太急狂奔拥挤的人群里
多希望下一秒就见到你
天虽然很高思念像云笼罩我很低潮
我所有沉默如果你看得到给我拥抱
微风轻轻飘寂寞在笑声里默默喧闹
只有我知道不需要再寻找谁的依靠
想见你没有你每天生活只剩呼吸
闭上眼晃动的全都是你
想见你我的心其实从来不曾离去
这一生只想和你在一起 (全世界最重要的就是你)
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