I haven't been myself since god knows when. Well maybe it isn't tt bad but it does feel pretty distant. Yea, I'm not happy. End of the argument. No doubts about it. The moments of joy and happiness I have now is sporadic, and they are just moments and temporary. They aren't gonna last. I of all people should know best.
Honestly, it's been difficult for me to deal with this distance. I haven't found a way to deal with it. It hurts and I know how it would hurt the most for myself. I just don't want to jinx it. My life has been filled with plenty of what ifs up till now. And I can foresee myself continuing the trend with many more what ifs playing through my head, of whatever is going to happen in the future. I dread to think of most of them but the possibilities are so real. And I do know that with my current mentality, the distance would only grow further. But one of the last things I could do was to give myself a big fat lie that I couldn't care less. It's just not something I can do. Neither can I give myself some pseudo hope that I know doesn't exist. Miserable. Me that is.
I want to grow and mature, to learn how to handle things in a better manner. Till then, I'll just continue to keep everything to myself and continue to keep the distance. But I know I still want to keep some faith. Faith that has been right there since the beginning. Faith in the words of someone and most of all in myself. No regrets till the end because that's the choice I wanted, the choice I made.
爱你
不是因为你的美和影
我越来越爱你
每个眼神触动我的心
因为你让我看见 forever
才了解自己
未来这些日子
要好好珍惜
爱我
有些痛苦有些不公平
如果真的爱我
不是理所当然的决定
感到你的呼吸在我耳边
像微风深情
温柔的安抚
我的不安定
所以我要
每年研究你的笑容
多么自然
Forever love forever love
我只想用我这一辈子去爱你
从今以后
你会是所有
幸福的理由
爱情
是场最美最远的旅行
沿途遇经泥泞
偶尔阻碍我们的前进
感到你的体温在我怀里
像阳光和煦
巧妙的熔化
我的不安定
不可思议
证明我爱你的理由
你感动的眼睛
我沉默的声音
仿佛就是最好的证明
就让我再说一次
I love you
直到永远
Oh
Forever love
Forever love
Forever love
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