Well for some reason, was feeling kind of unwell last night before going to bed. I guess it was the prolonged exposure to air con ytd.
I guess I kinda feel more relieved today :) I don't know why, really haha. But I feel better. Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. Can I say I'm okay? I think I can haha. Was it tt Xavier jio-ed me for wonderful tau sah piah? Unlikely, but it cld be a reason. Was it my short visit to Ben's place? Might be a build up to tt feeling as well. I really don't know. Man's emotions are just a crazy little thing. One day it cld be as low as hell but the next it cld be flying in the skies freely, not necessarily positive but still a refreshing feeling for me.
I guess the long walk I took to Ben's place kinda put me in place. Put some thought into what I had done. One word. Rubbish. Realised what I lacked in and yea I kind of regained my composure alr.
I had used my heart too much all along, it's time to use my head a little ya? Silly boy. I used to always harp on a line. Have a little faith. Easy for me to say but I never really did follow what I preached, did I? A big fat no is the answer. The ugly truth to myself. I sucked, tt much I admit but I'm gonna stop the rot and not let tt continue any longer. No point for me to rush things. It isn't gonna do anyone any good. I've gotta learn to have trust especially to the one who is dearest to me.
Not to say tt I'm denying whatever has happened so far. For things to come to such a state, I've gotta take most of the blame. I'm not an escapist and I'd not run away from tt fact. If things don't go well for me in the future, it'd most probably be due to my own actions, no one else and nothing else to blame. Right, Edwin? I have woken up from a deep slumber. One tt cld prove costly. I've lost a relationship already, with the friendship on the rocks. Am I going to lose more than what I have already lost? Not a chance as long as it's within my control. I'll just have to work from bottom up once again, tt's all. I'm not gonna do anything silly again. I've thought through this, and my mind is clear, crystal clear in fact.
Yeah sure, part of me will be clinging on to the past but I am not gonna let it affect my future. A part of me will sorely miss and remember the good times we had before and I will wish and dream for those crazy but sweet scenes to re-enact in front of my eyes. However, in no way will I force my will on you again. Never.
I'm not gonna do anything extravagant alr, I guess haha. Yep, let's start from friends again and see where it brings us, shall we :) Sorry it took me so long to realise it. This time, I'll really let nature take its course. Ready whenever you are ;)
船到桥头自然直。有一段时间我确实认为船永远都直不了，但我已看破红尘。接下来的事就听天由命吧。我必定会尽力，但我是不会强求的。
Haven't used a song consecutively before. But exceptions happen, especially during special circumstances, no? Not to mention that it's such an apt description. I'll just play my part, and hope for the best :)
2 a.m. and the rain is falling
Here we are at the crossroads once again
You're telling me you're so confused
You can't make up your mind
Is this meant to be
You're asking me
But only love can say try again or walk away
But I believe for you and me
The sun will shine one day
So I'll just play my part
And pray you'll have a change of heart
But I can't make you see it through
That's something only love can do
In your arms as the dawn is breaking
Face to face and a thousand miles apart
I've tried my best to make you see
There's hope beyond the pain
If we give enough, if we learn to trust
I know if I could find the words
To touch you deep inside
You'd give our dream just one more chance
Don't let this be our last good-bye
__________________________________________________________________
