Feeling damn shitty in the morning...really damn sucky...sigh...then could hardly do a thing lor, crappy...everything so crapped up. Felt slightly better after rummaging my cds and listening to some of them, but still...don't know what to say lah. Feel so helpless and useless lor, argh. Up till now homework still not finished, might as well jump down and end everything sia.
Got so much stuff...wanna die liao lah...think got no hope and no chance liao, hahzz...thinking...not asking too much I guess, just want happiness, not for me though...just don't want to see sadness shrouding and causing pain...
Yeah, tomorrow start of VSRCCU camp, I think maybe go see how they run...but maybe go school study first lah, gotta finish my stuff. Anyway I think David sir enough liao, he's good enough to take care of the sec 3s in case anything crops up. Then again, maybe I'll go look at them at times...so many things to do, I think after Saturday got one big load off my shoulder and passed to the sec 3s, less worries also. Don't know sia, my speech only one page, rewrote it. Hopefully on that day won't cry, cos really leaving the unit for good, no longer a cadet or NCO or anything. Most maybe next time got chance to come back as a senior or VI only. As the day comes closer, can feel the sadness and relief. Very contradicting, I know. Time to throw really all I've got to my academics, and hopefully forget other things...but some things can never, ever be forgotten.
This time put two lyrics cos got both chinese & english version...
害怕
我突然觉得有点怕 爱跟生活的一切
妳以为我知道怎么拆开 我们的想法落差
我的爱 是说停不能停 已经弄的不能说是曾经
也可说出我是错的 爱未曾变成真的
也没藏到多少妳需要的爱 我不再
去执着我是谁 我是我在夜里掉的眼泪
也可说我看不开的 为妳我能做的
竟还没让妳相信是爱情 左右妳我
而哭泣都是因为爱 也逼自己不掉泪
让往日不只是有妳 这网里我也撑着 拼了命的守着
Endless Road
The truth is tearing up my heart
I can't recognize this place
The endless road without a stop sign
Can't even find a stranger this time
Why am I still holding back my tears
In this loneliness there's nothing to fear
Every chord still seems a wonder
How we could be together
Every time I ask if this would be the last
Why am I still talking to myself
Hoping you will have the keys to my cell
Every song might calm the weather but it just draws me deeper
How do I get out of this I think I never will...
A crystal forming in the eye
Maybe this would be the last
The winding path down my face
Till I begin to taste the bitterness inside
__________________________________________________________________
